finding happiness in a smile
by Cookies and Ink
Summary: Sleeping was Sirius' favourite part of the day because that was when he dreamed. That was when he met the boy who made his heart skip a beat, and whose laughter lit up the world around them. [kidfic, Soulmate AU]


**A/N:** Written for Day 9 of August 2018's Romance Awareness. Any other prompts and challenges are listed at the bottom so as not to give anything else away.

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 **finding happiness in a smile.**

Sirius did the buttons up on his pyjama top, flung himself into bed and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

He had had some warm milk, listened to some piano music on the Wireless and was now so desperate to go to sleep his mind was racing with ideas on how to make himself tired. He ended up counting hippogriffs, then a rainbow pegasus appeared and finally as Sirius blinked to find he was now flying on a sleek broom, he realised he was dreaming.

The boy was flying too.

Sirius laughed, following him swooping over a Quidditch pitch, diving down until he thought he'd feel the grass brushing against his toes when he pulled up sharply. Except he wasn't in pyjamas now, he was in a gold and red Quidditch kit, a Beater's bat in his hand the boy was holding the Quaffle.

"You ready?" he yelled across to Sirius who nodded, fierce determination filling him. He would project the boy. Sirius knew as he knew every night, that he would do anything for the boy with dark brown skin and laughter in his eyes. They sped along, dodging the other team, Sirius keeping bludgers and anyone else away from the boy who made his heart sing.

The final score was so high Sirius didn't have time to work out how many goals he'd helped the boy score before he was being tackled into a hug in mid-air.

"We did it! That was amazing! Sirius, we won the Cup!" the boy shrieked in his ears. Sirius didn't care about Quidditch, not that much but the boy was so happy that it was worth it. It was always worth it to make him smile.

The dream changed.

He and the boy were lying by a lake, a tentacle waving about in the water with a castle looming in the water's reflection. Hogwarts, Sirius realised. At least, that's what it looked like in his imagination and he was pretty sure one of his cousin's had mentioned a squid in the lake. Did squids have tentacles? Sirius thought they did. The boy looked different now, older. He was stretched out next to Sirius and as he compared their bodies, Sirius realised that the boy's legs were long - he was probably a good bit taller than Sirius.

"I think I'm in love with you, Sirius."

The words made him feel warm inside. There were some nerves, maybe even fear in the hazel eyes of the boy so Sirius tried to think what to do to make him smile, to stop him from worrying. He copied something he'd seen someone do at a party and took the boy's hand, bringing it up to his lips.

"I've been in love with you since the first time we met," he said, kissing the warm hand clasped in his softly. "Of course we're in love. That's really obvious, right?"

"I guess so," the boy said, relief clear on his face. "You're not worried?"

"Not about us," Sirius said firmly. "I'm worried about other things but not us."

"You're always worried."

Sirius shoved him, and the soft moment that had made his insides squirm changed quickly to a water fight. Sirius had a wand that could nearly read his mind and his grown-up body knew spells that he couldn't even imagine. That was what he woke up thinking about - how creative his imagination was. If it had been anything other than a dream, Sirius would have wondered if summoning some sort of water tornado and then it backfiring and being hit in the face by a fish as possible. But it had been a dream. He stared up at his bedroom ceiling, his heart sinking down low to rest somewhere by his toes.

It was always a dream.

When he was awake, he spent his time thinking about his dreams and each time he dreamt now, the boy was there and they were on some sort of adventure. Sirius had tried to draw him, to bring him to life using his imagination but when he was awake, all the details were fuzzy. The boy had brown skin and there was something special about his smile. Sirius thought sometimes that he wore glasses or had black hair, but could never be sure.

Grabbing a pillow, Sirius yelled into it for a long moment, frustrated. He had considered getting a pensive somehow or taking a potion to make the dream stop, then felt horrible for thinking something like that. Even if it was driving him up the wall, he wouldn't do anything that would make the dreams go away.

The boy was the only good thing in his life.

So Sirius got dressed slowly, folded his pyjamas and made his bed neatly then left for breakfast, already yearning for the day to go by quickly so he could dream once again.

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 **[1st September 1971]**

Sirius was glad that Regulus hadn't been allowed to come to the platform. He had spent all night talking with his brother, trying to give him advice for surviving a year without his older brother to look after him, to keep their mother's attention elsewhere. The thought kept making Sirius' insides twist but he knew his brother was strong and Sirius would write to him.

Reggie would be okay.

Still, if he'd been at the platform, Sirius wouldn't have wanted his brother to think he was happy to leave so Sirius would have had to somehow contain the smile that was on his face, the excitement that was racing through his veins.

He was going to Hogwarts.

He was nervous. He was worried about a lot of things, but today felt like freedom. Today was the first time in a long time where he didn't know what was going to happen. There would be no house elf to summon him to dinner in the kitchens, away from the formal dining room where his parents died. There would be no mandatory bath or test by his father on some Wizengamot law or method to making a potion.

Today there was just the unknown, an adventure and it excited him as much as it made him want to bite his lip.

His parents had left almost as soon as they'd apparated him to the platform and Sirius was happy with that too. Now he could explore without concentrating on keeping his posture straight and socialising with the right people. He was sure Marlene McKinnon was somewhere around, as well as his cousins but Sirius didn't bother to go looking for them. He didn't want to have to go back to being simply a 'Black' rather than 'Sirius'. They were two very different things.

"Oh, sorry."

He had pulled open a compartment door that he'd thought was empty. The boy inside was knelt on a seat, trying to push his satchel up in the rack above the seats. Sirius helped and the boy grinned. Sirius felt his stomach flip.

"No worries, thanks for the help! My names James."

Sirius searched the face, so much of it felt familiar but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't remember the boy from his dreams, just like always.

"Hi, I'm Sirius."

"Do you want to sit? I was getting really bored on my own and I've only just got here."

The next thing James was pulling Sirius inside the compartment and had him sat down, busily talking about the Quidditch match he'd been to see two days ago - Puddlemere had miraculously won - and asking if Sirius knew any games because the train journey was supposed to belong.

"Um, my brother and I play Exploding Snap quite a bit, or I know Wizard's Chess..."

"Great! I've got Snap and a chessboard. My Mum thinks the chess pieces are extra loud and honestly, they are because I charmed them last year."

Sirius laughed, his eyes drawn to nimble brown fingers that looked just like a pair that had gripped a Quaffle, that had hugged Sirius in a dream, that were now waving right in front of his face.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, sorry," Sirius said with a smile, running his hands through his hair. "Daydreaming about something... it doesn't matter."

James didn't question him, just nodded and Sirius relaxed into his seat. He was going to Hogwarts and he was worried about a lot of things, everything except what was happening right now. He'd found his boy, his James. He'd found happiness in the sound 'James', laughter amongst swearing chesspieces, and hazel eyes that shone with curiosity.

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 **A/N** :

 **Romance Awareness:** Day 9 - You dream about your soulmate every night, but when you wake up you can never remember their face.

 **Disney Challenge** : S3. Write about someone flying.

 **Cookie's Crafty Corner:** Cast On - Write about characters meeting for the first time.

 **Lyric Alley:** 25\. I know that I deserve your love

 **Ami's Audio Admirations:** 1\. The Going-Home Song — Write about someone at home.

 **Em's Emporium:** 3\. Sophy (The Crownless Queen): Write a marauder era fic.

 **Bex's Bazaar:** Elephants are the largest land animals on the planet - Write about someone with a larger than life personality.

 **Film** **Festival:** 26\. (dialogue) "We won!"

 **Chocolate Truffle Crazy:** Sweet - Write fluff.

 **Days of the Year:** August 11 2018 - Son and Daughter Day - Write a kidfic

 **Shay's Musical Challenge:** Amelie - write about someone going on an adventure.

 **Gryffindor Themed Prompts:** James Potter, (trait) adventurous.


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